Why I’ve Stopped Rationalizing About Self-Discipline

Kevin gave me an UP3 for Christmas. It’s an activity tracker which is the rival version of the FitBit that monitors heart rate; sleep intervals, food and steps throughout the day. Please don’t judge him, he got me exactly what I asked for, instead of a “feel good” present.

In an attempt to Live Bold this year (my one word for 2016) I know that I have to make some changes in a few areas, for one, looking to take better care of myself. Okay, I can’t take it anymore and it will be sheer rebellion if I don’t listen and that is what my body is telling me as it moves into another year.

And I do have an announcement to make.

I am not very self-disciplined.

Yikes! Did I just say that out loud?

Yes I did.

I am highly and creatively organized and work well in structured environments, but lack self-discipline when it comes to maintaining physical health. Kevin and I have been working hard at our ‘eating green’ and healthy so I can check that off, but in the exercise and sleep areas, they definitely need work.

For several years it was pretty habitual and then I dropped off the wagon. Why does that happen? So, I am coming to terms with this weakness and will be looking for a support therapy group!

Seriously, I think I am disciplined in my head. I make the plan and carry it out in my faraway thoughts, visualizing my sweaty body after a good workout, going to bed the same time every night and rising refreshed after 8 hours of sleep. But when it comes time to “buckle down” as my Dad used to say, well I flip flop because I get distracted with the next “best thing” or the “urgent need” of the moment or heaven forbid people, “not feeling like it!”

I am also very hard on myself, so if I begin something and then fail a few times I can slump into a melancholy regret of,

How will I ever measure up?

Then I just quit!

I call it an Eyeore moment~bleak, dark, no hope, can’t change, etc., you get the picture. Yes, I know this sounds extreme, but as my friends and family tell me, I need to get over it and not berate myself and try to find the middle ground.

One area of serious self-discipline space that needs to be created is my sleep and exercise schedule. I realize that I have rationalized myself to death on consistency of exercise and regulating my sleep. I’ve been using the UP3 for nearly a month now and it is telling, oh so telling. Sometimes we just need a little dose of facts and reality because it kicks the teeth out of my rationalization and stories I make up about how I think I am doing in these areas.

I believe to Live Bold means making sure I am maintaining even this part of my life because reality says it impacts every area of my life, AND I am finally old to enough to actually feel the consequences. When I am sleep deprived because I stay up too late, I am cranky the next day. When I don’t exercise, it shows and I am not talking about looking good in the latest fashion trend, I am talking about just plain functioning well.

And so as I’ve asked God to speak into my one-word for 2016 Live Bold.  He’s reminded me, “And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice–the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.” Hebrews 12:1

I can often forget that the physical is equally important and it is actually an act of worship to take care of the gift that God gave me, my health. I think I’ve blanked that word “worship” out from that passage. Funny how you can read the same words in the Bible over a hundred times and never see something. Worship with physical self-discipline, what a thought!

My UP3 band is vibrating me telling me it’s time to get ready for bed.  I better pay attention. And so, here I go in 2016 beginning the year not with a resolution, but with a solution to learn to worship Jesus in a new way!