My Character Check: Passing Judgment “F”

IvyIt was a brilliantly sunny Beverly Hills, California day sitting at the famed Ivy Restaurant. I was enjoying a wonderful lunch with my visiting cousins from Russia. Not the ordinary experience for me.

To be clear, first of all I don’t eat lunch in Beverly Hills everyday and second, I was creating a memory with family I had just met and touring all the LA attractions with them. On my top ten, this was definitely a highlight. My California cousin had arranged for us to eat at this beautiful place in hopes that we might catch a celebrity or two. We learned the Ivy is a place for the local celebrities to gather and enjoy elegant food and the ambience of vases full of roses on every table and decor in an elegant vintage flare. Wouldn’t it be a blast if our  guests could catch a glimpse of a celebrity favorite?

It happened. Right next to us. At first, I had a hunch that someone famous was sitting next to us. She was perfectly put together and it made me feel small and insignificant. She was sitting so close to me, I could of touched her. The comparison game started, from her flawless make-up to her well-toned body to her beautiful dress, shoes and bag.  My cousin whispered to me, “That face doesn’t happen without plastic surgery.” I kept catching quick glances; you know the ones where you don’t want someone to know that you are staring at them?  How ridiculous, like I expected to see the tiny scars underneath her hairline? Hello?

I decided to get up and go use the little girls room and freshen up. After all, I was certain I was sitting next to a star. I looked in the mirror and thought, geez, I don’t look so bad today, so I stood up taller and threw my shoulders back and walked back to my table confidently. As we sat and ate we tried to think of where we had seen her.

I couldn’t place her.

Instead I judged her.

Her looks,

Her clothes,

Her shoes,

Her mannerisms as she talked.

And I am not proud to say, it went on and it wasn’t fair because I think she actually was a very lovely person having lunch with her friend. And she was minding her own business. This was not one of my finer character moments.

Why did I do that? Because, I felt insecure in the moment of who I was and what I do and I was not in my familiar territory, which by the way are just excuses for my bad attitude.

I felt insignificant compared to the fact that she was a recognized celebrity and I was not. How very childish and well plain STUPID!

Just as she was leaving a couple came up and asked to take a picture with her and gushed over how she was their favorite and all that. Out of nowhere the paparazzi showed up snapping pics as she got into her car. Now we were VERY curious so we asked our waiter. It turned out that she was Lisa Vanderpump from The Beverly Hills Housewives reality show.  That explained everything, or did it?

When we got back to our hotel we did our homework and read everything we could about her. The more I read, the smaller I felt, but different this time. Small in the way that I was totally ashamed of myself of how quick I jumped to conclusions and stereotyped a person because of my own insecurity.  YUCK…this part of my character I don’t like.

I read an overview of her book Simply Divine: A Guide to Easy, Elegant, and Affordable Entertainment and in the first few pages you get a glimpse of the very ordinary and loving person that she is. And you know what I found? A woman whose heart is committed to loving and serving her family, her friends and her community. A woman who desires to use her success to help others. A woman who says her secret is working hard, taking risks and never giving up. She’s been married to the same man for over 30 years a definite rare find in Hollywood.  I also found a kindred heart in her passion for writing, and I could relate when she talked about loving her family through the art of cooking. Really? And guess what, she freely admits she’s trying to grow older gracefully with no plastic surgery! How is that for the ultimate judgment card? Not a proud moment!

I don’t know if what drives her at her core, but what I do know is what I claim that my faith teaches. God says that I shouldn’t be quick to judge another person. It is wrong, it’s not my place, it is shameful and it only reveals the ugliness in my own heart. Sigh….I thought I was passed it, but guess I have some more work to do!

Time to dig a little deeper and next time be careful with my thoughts and my words of casting a judgment on someone I know nothing about.

Character check~passing judgment I get a definite big fat “F” on that day. But I am glad for the experience, it has made me think and reflect once again and I’m grateful that God ordained that moment for me. Tomorrow is another chance, another opportunity to pass the next test that comes my way. Jesus, help me to catch myself the next time and watch my thoughts as they form a web of words that seek to judge and not give the grace I need. Help me to see others through your eyes and believe the best in people.