I’ve been swimming in grief of losing my Mom and trying to carry on my daily responsibilities.
There isn’t always space to stop and reflect because lately my schedule has been full. I know I have to let grief have it’s way and not ignore what’s happening in my heart despite the busyness. I wanted a place to write down the deeper questions I am grappling with right now.
I created a page in my bullet journal entitled, questions to ponder and reflection. I am trying to capture the moments of God whispering to me in the pain as I am walking this new path.
Some of the sweet end of the bitter this year has been traveling with one of the sponsors, Redemption Press at the Women of Joy Tour. I am smack dab in the midst of having the opportunity to hear godly teachers and participate in rich worship while working at a job I love!
Bible teachers such as Lisa Harper, Sheila Walsh, Ann Voskamp, Babbie Mason, and others have been speaking truth into my fragile soul. The truth is a healing balm to my soul and God has met me in the promise of Psalm 34:18, that he is, “close to those who are broken-hearted and saves those crushed in spirit.”
This past Friday, in Branson, surrounded by 4200 worshipping women, we sang, It is Well with My Soul.
I said, “God I can’t do this, I am in the front row.”
This song has been a generational favorite of my grandmother’s and my Mom’s. I did what any woman does with roller coaster emotions.
I gallantly bowed my head and let the tears flow as I sang the phrase over and over again,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Why? Because it is.
God meets us in our brokenness.
God comes to us in our hurting places.
God waits to embrace the mess and reassures us with his overwhelming love.
God met me in those five minutes of worship and rescued me.
He reached down in my lonely grief and gave me his outrageous grace of healing.
I realize I won’t always be in this space and I know I don’t have to have all the answers, but I can think about the questions that God puts before me.
Questions such as,
Am I motivated by my pain or passion to serve God? (Sheila Walsh)
Do I recognize my need for God in my desperation? (Lisa Harper)
Can I fathom that Jesus prays for me? (Babbie Mason)
If Christ bears scars, how can I despise my scars? (Ann Voskamp)
I am recording my list of questions and thoughts asking God to speak to these questions in the loss.
What are you facing?
Do you have questions of truth that God is whispering to your wounded soul?
Write them down and make them a part of your conversation with God. He is waiting like the best friend you’ve ever had to give you comfort and peace in your storm.
Learn how you too can be anchored in the storm. www.cynthiacavanaugh.com/anchored